“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened.”
– Shannon L. Alder
 
Kabir – The couplet
ह्रदय भीतर आरसी, मुख देखा नहीं जाय ।
मुख तो तबही देखिलो, जब दिल की दुविधा जाय||

Transliterated:
Hriday Bheetar Aarasi, Much Dekha Nahin Jaay |
Much To Tabahi Dekhile, Jab Dil Ki Duvidha Jaay ||

Translation:
There is a mirror in your heart, but you do not see your face there |
Your face will show in that mirror, only when you let go of all doubt and distraction ||

My understanding:
We have spent our whole life modeling the perceived self for achievement and success as defined by our understanding of expectations of those we live amidst, those we look up to, and those we perceive and accept as models of success and excellence.

In the process of modeling, we have plastered our entire presented exterior over and over again, till the visage bears no resemblance or relation to the original self that however still remains the driver and source of life energy for the visage.

At some point, this exterior becomes so large and onerous that it is all we can do to just provide sufficient energy to keep it running and up. Our entire life force and more is spent just maintaining the view – to the extent where we cannot take a breath or spend a moment with ourselves in peaceful quietude.

Think about it – how often did you hold back on saying something to someone, afraid of their or the community’s reaction? Even if it was the right thing or a true thought? Think of the number of actions you stopped yourself from taking, for fear of appearing foolish or being ridiculed – even when the action was correct and/or involved being genuinely helpful? Even now, can you free yourself sufficiently to walk out of the door you are currently behind, and declare to the space outside, in loud clear words, your thanks and joy at being alive and in the presence of the world? Will you worry about what someone else may think or say about your actions and words?

Until we free ourselves from these social and self-imposed shackles, we cannot float free. Until we are free, the mind does not become quiet enough to listen to the true self. Until we are able to listen to the true self, our proper sense of discrimination does not find the light of day. And until that happens, we cannot break free of the prison of ego and desire.

So train to break free – and learn to stay free and move in the right direction. Any regression only strengthens the prison, making the next attempt to break free that much more difficult!