“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.”
– Thomas Merton
 
Kabir – The couplet
कबीर प्रेम न चखिया, चखी न लिया सौ ।
सूने घर का पहुना, ज्यों आवे त्यों जाउ||

Transliterated:
Kabir Prem Na Chakhiya, Chakhi Na Liya Sau |
Soone Ghar Ka Pahuna, Jyon Aawe Tyon Jaau||

Translation:
Kabir says that he who has not experienced love, has not tasted the nectar or love |
Is like the visitor who came to an empty house, rand the bell, and left with no meeting ||

My understanding:
So let us drive down this path of understanding love more properly. Experiencing true love seems to be a primary purpose of life, going by the above couplet. Here Kabir is rather explicit, saying that the absence of love is akin to a wasted visit – a life without love is a life of wasted purpose.

What is this love referenced here? This is neither lust not infatuation – which is what we experience normally and presume to be love. Love is service in its truest form – thought, action or direction designed to satisfy the other, with absolutely no expectation of result or reciprocation for the self. The act is the satisfaction, the act is the result, and the act is the consequence.

My sense of awareness says, “I am me – I am engrossed in this life and its actions, and am justifiably desirous of the resultant enjoyment”. This lust for result drives us into the deadly embrace of desire. Desire, like fire, consumes without satiation. So I am left feeling empty and dissatisfied at the end of the act, wanting more but bereft of the energy to continue.

True sadhana is the effort to overcome this rush into the arms of desire under the guidance of ego. When the act is the cause, the act and the result, satisfaction is built into the equation already. Doing is already the result – so there is no separation of cause and effect.

The Brihaddaranyaka Upanishad says:

कामः संकल्पो विचिकित्सा श्रद्धः अश्रद्धः धृतिर्धृति
हृदिरभीररित्येतत् सर्वं मां एवती ॥

Kamaho Sankalpo Vichikitsaa Shraddhha Ashraddhha Dhritirdhriti
Hridirbhirarityetat Sarvam Mama Eveti ||

Meaning: Desires, resolves, doubts, faith, hate, patience, anxiety, shyness, knowledge, fear – all of them are in the mind.

To overcome all of these by myself is nigh impossible. As I overcome one or two or even three, the others will take advantage of my lack of attention to them and overcome me rather effortlessly.

This is very similar to a walk down an unknown path in utter darkness. No matter how careful I am, I will stumble, fall, twist an ankle, hurt myself, or do myself some serious harm. Even if the path were without any inherent danger, my anticipation of the worst will ensure I do something stupid and cause trouble for me.

But that same walk, taken while holding the hand of someone I trust, will be a walk down a sunny path. There is no darkness for the other is my light and shining beacon. That which was an obstacle will now work to be of service to me, not a stumbling block.

This is true love. Connect with the self, let each action and though be born to serve another, and understand that the action is its own reward. Life then becomes its own reward. And we will begin to understand the true meaning of liberation (moksha).